Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Cautionary Tale!

Sunset from our cabin porch - Beech Mountain, North Carolina
August 9, 2011

Greetings from 5500 feet.  We're on top of Beech Mountain, North Carolina in a huge log cabin with long covered porches on both levels.  The temperatures are a delightful mid70's daytime and upper50's nighttime.  It is just what we needed for a last fling prior to Mr. B beginning the fall semester of teaching.  He is extremely excited about good things happening this year, but like me, was anxious to escape the horrid heat and humidity at home.  This trip is much different than the weeks in Colorado.  Although we have many things to do, the main focus is rest, relaxation and communication with some exercise thrown in.  We've never stayed on top of Beech Mountain before, but the High Country of western North Carolina is very familiar to us, so most things we choose to do are things we have done before so it makes no difference if we do them again or simply sit on the porch and read.  I am keeping my separate travel journal while here, so if you'd like to read more about our time on Beech Mountain, here's the link to that journal.

This morning, I did what (I think!!) was my first really bone-headed thing in BlogLand, so decided to take a minute and remind all of us that even though we become very comfortable here and feel as if we "know" the people with whom we communicate, it is vitally important to always remember that each BlogFriend is different and each person has carefully chosen how they approach their writing and what information they share or don't share.  I am not going to share exactly what I did, but fortunately, I caught it and was able to UNDO it before any damage had been done.  So don't even TRY to figure out what I did because you can't!  LOL!  But it served as a vivid reminder that I must always proof a comment before I hit send and even go so far as to think about the person behind the blog on which I am commenting.  How much do I really know about their journey, their blog philosophy, what they have and have not shared and their approach to healthy eating/dieting/maintaining/etc? I've seen people hurt by the comments of others, not so much by the comment itself, but because the comment reflected that the commenter had probably not even closely read the post and certainly hadn't taken time to "know" the blogger prior to sending a hastily worded comment.   I actually know a blogger who stopped blogging because of inappropriate comments from others.  That was a long time ago, so don't try figuring that one out either!!!  The last thing that goes through my mind before hitting send to a comment is this:  Most likely, I can't undo this once it's gone.  Is it helpful or hurtful?  Could it be misinterpreted in any way?  How would I feel if this comment came to me?  Is it appropriate to the post and the blogger who wrote it?  At least I'd like to THINK I go through that process, but as you know from my frequent typos, it doesn't always happen.  But this morning's lesson was a reminder to do better.  Thankfully, today's mess up was fixable, but one more thing to remember, is that most blogging platforms do not allow you to undo a comment to the blog of another person.  Once it's gone - it is truly gone.   And then all you can do is helplessly wish you had thought before you acted.   Always be reminded that behind every blog is a very real person who smiles, laughs, hurts and bleeds just like you do.

Thanks again for your feedback on the Diet Rules to Break series I just completed.   The biggest response was to rule #6 about shopping only the perimeter of the grocery store.  And most of you agreed that the rule truly was outdated, so it was a good rule to break.  Several of you mentioned that the bakery section was situated prominently along the perimeter of your grocery store.  That is most definitely NOT a place we need to spend much time loitering.  In my preferred store (Kroger), the bakery aisle is the FIRST aisle I encounter on the perimeter, right alongside fruit and produce.  Geez!   But not only that, the LAST aisle around the perimeter is ice cream and frozen pizza!  Would you believe that in order to get to the Organic and Health Food sections, one practically has to navigate that ice cream aisle?  I've found a way around through the dog food and toilet paper section.  LOL!  I just look at cute puppies on the Cottonnelle and Puppy Chow packages and try not to think about ice cream!  The other side of the coin is many items were mentioned that we NEED for healthy eating and are ONLY found in the middle aisles.  So I think we can all agree that shopping only the perimeter aisle of the grocery store doesn't work and is a good rule to break!

Enough rambling for now!  If I don't get moving, Mr. B is going to decide it's time for a nap.  And for someone who has only been up for two hours, it is definitely NOT time for a nap.  

Please make me feel better.   Have you ever commented on a blog and then immediately wished you hadn't said what you did or worded it differently?


  1. I almost used Mr. B's real name once:) Of course, you outed that yourself!

    I have often written a comment and then deleted it before I hit "submit." That is usually when I am being honest and giving advice or commentary that I then second guess the blogger might really not appreciate. I still always hesitate to do anything beyond kind supportive words. BUT - I know that some of the most tactful butt-kicking has really been what has helped me the most. I actually talk about this in an upcoming post.

  2. Ahh... the topic of comments. I think for any of us who have blogged for any length of time, we have probably all have been on the receiving end of hurtful comments. And I know for me, especially in the beginning, I made more than my share of goofs!

    And mine were most always due to one of two things: I didn't take the time to really get to know the person first... or... I was in a hurry. You know.. the "fast scan" type of reading, where it's too easy to miss stuff. Yeah... I had to learn that one the hard way, too!

    I try remember people mean well (usually!). That helps. :-}

    Great topic for discussion.

  3. Yes I have and immediately emailed the person and apologized and begged them to remove it! I also had a person get all riled up on my blog who emailed me and asked me to take down her comment. It works both ways!

  4. I've got a few posts and comments I wish I'd worded differently, but nothing I've wished back entirely. Fortunately for me, I think people have been forgiving and understood my intentions were good. :)

    Enjoy your trip!

  5. I'm not sure I've made such a goof. I tend to say what I think, but I do delete a lot of what I think before I hit 'send' LOL.

    I do think that the nature of what we do--writing, and ALLOWING others to comment on our writing--we have to be prepared for all types of comments.

    I do sometimes think that ONLY kind encouraging comments are not always helpful. But I usually go back to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

  6. First, I hope you are enjoying those digs. That sounds like a great place. Love the temps you reported here.

    I do have issues with typos, too. I can be in a hurry (aren't we all??) and not proofread carefully. I have said some strong things to bloggers, but I do not regret what I said at all. This is a tough journey getting healthy and fit. I use myself as an example and it is with that tone that I point things out to other weight loss bloggers. I just want others to get their life together about their weight way (weigh!!) before I did. We can all find a million excuses about why we can't. This is serious business and I am a serious blogger about my journey (at least most of the time).Michele