Patience (and the Absence of Nagging) Pays Off!

Connors Nubble - Acadia National Park, Maine

June 16, 2012

Eating foods that are known to be "healthy" has never been a huge problem for me.  I love most vegetables and will choose fruit over many other items when looking for a snack.  I've never had a problem with extreme sugar addiction and from the time I first understood that my weight was going to be a problem, I've always known that white carbs would be my nemesis.   

As with all of us, there are exceptions.   Yes, there have been times when I've gone on a sugar binge and eaten quantities I can't even begin to recount.   Many a time, I've settled in with a good book, a BAG of chips, a BOX of triscuits and perhaps, a box of Krispy Kreme cruellers only to regain consciousness five chapters later and realize most of it is gone.   I've gone through the line at potluck church dinners and filled a plate with all that good stuff and before even sitting down devising the plan of how I was going to unobtrusively go back for the second plateful.  

But those ARE exceptions.   For the most part, the reason I have struggled with my weight for so many years is simply the fact that I eat TOO MUCH OF THE GOOD THINGS!  My "stop when full" button is irreparably broken and the good stuff just never stops looking or tasting good! 

My spouse, on the other hand, has a "stop when full" button that operates perfectly normally.  I watch in utter amazement as he pushes away a plate with one bite left on it saying, "I'm full."  Or throws away the bottom half of an ice cream cone, flippantly decclaring, "I'm done!"  Although he's gained a small amount of weight in the 35 years we've been married, he's never had a weight problem, nor will he ever.  His "numbers" are all excellent and we've come to the conclusion that he is very fortunate to have gained his mother's genetic makeup.  She is 81 years old, in excellent health and on no medication.  

BUT HE HAS EATING HABITS THAT CAN ONLY BE CALLED ATROCIOUS!!!  He most certainly does have a sugar addiction, will happily eat fast food six nights a week, would drink coke all day long if I'd buy it for him (I'm too cheap!) and classifies french fries as the only acceptable vegetable.  Maybe once in a blue moon, he'll eat a banana!

It has long been a concern of mine, but particularly over the last year as my weight has come off and my energy level has soared, I've noted that even as healthy as he appears, he is often very sluggish, sleeps a lot, and just doesn't display a lot of "umph."  His argument has always been that he's just tired from all the energy required to teach his class and run the department at this college.  And yes, he puts in an insane amount of hours, but I've long believed that much of the sluggishness is due to his diet.  

But you cannot nag!  We all know this whether referring to ourselves or someone about whom we are concerned!   Change can ONLY come from within.   We can be role models, we can gently express concern, we can share ideas, we can offer support or accountability, but the decision to change can only come from the individual.  

So you can only imagine how I very nearly fell off the top of Conners Nubble in Acadia National Park on June 16 (these are all important details - it's a significant event!) when out of the clear blue sky, Bill said,"do you think I'd feel better and have more energy if I cut out sugar and white flour like you have?"  

Now when you've been hoping (and yes, I'll go so far as to say, fervently praying) for a long time wanting something like this to happen, it's very, VERY hard to remain calm and simply answer, "yes, I believe that with all my heart. You've watched it happen to me."   What I wanted to do was jump up, start some sort of wild happy dance and begin proclaiming loudly that, "thank God, he'd finally seen the light!"   But I just went on to ask if he was thinking about making some changes.   The answer was yes and a promise to talk about it more later.   (Today's picture was taken just shortly after that conversation took place)

"Later" did come with a vague plan that he'd like to lose ten pounds and try the sugar free/white flour free eating for 30 days.  After that, we'll see!!  

I'm happy to report that the 30 days began this past Sunday (July 1) and will end on my birthday (July 30).  With no nagging, no coercion and no questions on my part, he has embraced this fully.  We are walking every morning at 7 a.m. something we traditionally do during the month of July while he's teaching his summer class, but he's already told me he's trying to figure out a way we can continue once his regular schedule returns in the fall.   He's already lost a couple of pounds and on Tuesday, asked me very sheepishly if it was possible that he could already be feeling better.  I replied with a resounding "yes!"  I am thrilled that he doesn't seem to have suffered any degree of sugar withdrawal which is amazing given the incredible amounts of sugar he's been eating with little balance from other food groups.  We're keeping him full of good stuff and maybe his body just forgot about the sugar!

My part of the agreement is to plan our meals (we'll share the cooking), pack his lunch (two meals on nights he has meetings at school eliminating the fast food runs), have plenty of snacks available and answer endless questions that start with, "can I have................?"  I think the thing I'm most enjoying is that we are doing it TOGETHER, something I have so longed for.   This is truly all about him, BUT how quickly I've realized how much easier and more enjoyable it makes MY choices.

As I said earlier, the good news for him is that his "stop when full" button works just fine.  He ate a small dish of ice cream last night at the home of good friends and enjoyed it a lot.  But told me on the way home that it was enough.  That's the philosophy I hope will stick once the 30 days are up.  I also hope the 30 days will be enough time to convince him that what you eat makes a huge difference in how you feel and the results he discovered will be motivation enough to make them permanent.  

He does read the blog and I wrote this with with his permission.   I am very proud of him!   Other than watching me struggle and work so hard to reach and maintain a proper weight, he has no background in healthy eating concepts.  This was a big step for him.   It was also a reminder to me that we are role models and we never know who is watching.  Changes in diet and commitments to a healthier lifestyle can SAVE A LIFE!  Be ever ready to talk about it when asked and eager to share your own story in a way that might encourage someone else.  You just never know when something you've said or done will hit home!

Are you and your spouse/significant other/best friend in this together or are you on your own?