Conflicts of Interest

Balcony view from our bedroom at River's Whisper Cabin, Franklin North Carolina

August 8, 2012

As a Human Resources Professional in a former life, the phrase "Conflict of Interest" was one with which I had to be ever vigilant in my awareness of what it did or not not mean.  It seemed that those who regulated whichever industry I happened to be employed by were forever changing the meaning of what constituted a "conflict of interest."  My life these days seems to be one gigantic conflict of interest and it's no wonder I've developed a strange twitch.....just kidding about the twitch!

But one thing that was most definitely NOT a conflict of interest, were the three glorious days we spent with dear friends of more than 35 years at a cabin in Franklin, North Carolina.  As you know, I am researcher and a planner whose favorite thing to do is "plan" our next adventure, but this time, our friends did ALL the planning.   All we had to do was follow the directions emailed to us and show up.  I can't verbalize how nice that was, how badly I needed to just "rest" while someone else handled the details and most important of all, some time to just "be!"  The cabin was huge, people were in and out constantly, new friends were made, laughter flowed constantly and joy was simply all around.  More pictures of our time at the cabin are included throughout this post.

This little guy met us at the door of the cabin!

Back to the conflicts of interest.........................

1) It has been two weeks since my birthday and would you believe, there is still one more celebration to "endure."   And yes, as grateful as I am, it now feels like a test of endurance.   As much as I enjoyed meeting my goal at my birthday and as much as I've appreciated all those wanting to show their love to me by feeding me, I now realize the timing was horrible.  Starting maintenance has been rocky at best.  I'm not going into detail as there's no new material here.  You've all been here.  A point in time came when I got tired of fighting.  Don't worry, very little harm done except to my emotional state of being.   At a very, VERY low point, I actually found myself thinking, "if it's going to be this hard to push back against circumstances, is it really worth it?"  The answer, of course, is yes and rest assured, that thought was fleeting.  I haven't hiked in two weeks, but when you read this, I will be on the way high up in "my" mountains where clarity will return.

Our room was on the top right with it's very own private balcony!

They all know me well and knew I'd be up by 5 a.m.

I think they hoped I'd stay out on my balcony and be quiet - I did and I was!

2) I don't talk much on the blog about the fact that I have lived with Acute Rheumatoid Disease since being diagnosed at age 28, but sometimes I have to because it becomes a focus in my life and when it does, it usually isn't in a good way.  A particular med which has been a miracle drug for over eleven years began causing some serious side effects.  I tried denying that it was the med, but finally had to acknowledge the truth.  Visiting my rheumatologist, I was obviously taken off the med immediately.  Given several alternatives, I chose to allow my body to "rest" for a few days before making a decision about a next step.  That did NOT work!   And I knew because I've been here before, that the one thing that WOULD work in the interim was the dreaded PREDNISONE!   What conflict of interest, you say????   High doses of prednisone while excellent at relieving pain and swelling, comes with the added byproduct of immediate and unavoidable weight gain.  Words of terror to me at any stage of the game, but right now...........................   How could the timing be more horrible?   Good news is, the pain relief is almost immediate!  I'll keep you posted.

View from the main balcony!  Early in the morning, deer roamed the hillside!

3)  Bill starts back toschool on Wednesday.  We've had a marvelous summer filled with new adventure, loads of fun, time to reconnect which is always special and anticipation of another great academic year.   But the day always comes with mixed emotions for me.   He is so excited and so filled with enthusiasm, but there is a normal period of adjustment I have to work through.  My routine changes, the house seems so quiet and the bottom line is, I just miss him.   

The group kayaked from a put-in five miles upriver back to the cabin and had a great time.

Much to my dismay, I did not feel it was wise for me to go.

4)  My extended family is experiencing some change.  My sister is going through some health issues.  Nothing serious (or at least we don't think it is) and very similar to what I went through five years ago at age 52 (if you get my drift!!), but she's having a hard time and telephone conversations over such sensitive topics aren't really satisfying.  It's during these times I wish we weren't three hours apart.  My niece who lives in my town, begins her first year of Vet School in a couple of weeks.  She'll be incredibly busy and not have nearly as much time to spend with Aunt Sharon.   I will miss her - I already do!!

I took a long, long walk while the crew was kayaking and came across this little guy!

5)  And lastly, I'm experiencing somewhat of a conflict of interest regarding Gains and Losses.  I like staying in touch frequently with all of you.  You are such an encouragement to me and I hope that feeling is mutual.  But I also have a very active and busy life in my real world that can't ever be neglected and occasionally, I experience "conflict" over do I write a post or do I make a phone call?  To address that conflict, I am experimenting with a Facebook page for Gains and Losses.  In a way, it almost seems counter-productive, as if that's just one more thing to take up time, but a Facebook update can be quick, while writing a post (at least the way I choose to do it) takes thought and time.  So my plan is to update the Facebook page at least daily, maybe more while continuing to write a regular post at least weekly, hopefully more!   We'll see where it goes.   For the time being, if you have a Facebook page, please "like" mine, so we can interact together in that way.  You'll find a Facebook Badge on the left side of the blog - click on it to be taken directly to the page.  So far, Bill is the only one who "likes" me.   He thinks that's funny - I keep reminding him I have many ways to "like" him and Facebook ISN'T going to be one of them!!   (I don't even know if I have this page set up correctly, so if anything looks odd from your perspective, PLEASE tell me.)

  

The highlight of my walk was coming across this gorgeous field of sunflowers!

Sums it all up nicely, don't you think?

Sounds like a lot of whining and moaning, doesn't it?   Not meant to - it's just what was on my mind and came out through my fingers.  There is a lot going on in many of your lives as well.  I know that and think of you often!  That's why we have each other.

Any "Conflicts of Interest" you are willing to share?

Would love to encourage you this week!