Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Round One Is Behind Us

View From Bote Mountain Trail - GSMNP
October 28, 2013

For my precious blog friends who know me well enough to notice the date on the picture, YES, I did indeed, take that picture myself which means one thing.....I WENT HIKING YESTERDAY!  But that report will have to come later because too much else has happened in between my last post and yesterday.  But please know before you read on, that Bill's "recovery" period between chemo treatments did finally occur and the fact that I was able to hike yesterday means for the moment, things are going well!

I cannot thank you enough for your positive thoughts and well wishes from my last post. It was hard to write and the question always comes up regarding how much you REALLY want to share on a blog.  For me, the answer to that is found is the title of this blog.  I write about the gains and I write about the losses!  Thank you for staying with me through both!

There is no way to sugar-coat the fact that cancer is evil and chemo is hell!  We went through nine days of a misery neither of us have ever experienced and one that no one could adequately anticipate or prepare for.  We learned many things and it is our prayer (please make it yours as well) that those lessons will help during round two.  There is simply no need to go into a lot of detail here, but one thing we do know is that our love and support for anyone going through chemo or facing it has changed.  If you EVER, for as long as you read this blog or are in my life, have questions or have to face this, please know that I will be here to help in any way I can.  I will call you, I will email you, I will come to you if I can.   The good news for now is that we also know a "recovery" period does come.  We had our doubts those last couple of days when Bill was so ill.  And just as the doctor said,  it turns around quickly and the recovery period kicks in.  It really was as instant as being so sick he could hardly raise his head off the pillow to waking up the following morning, looking around and saying, "I feel different."  He will have had a week's reprieve before his next treatment period begins.

Having said all that, we've also learned much about chemo treatment itself.  There are currently more than 50 medications used as part of chemo "cocktails."  Every person is different, every patient is different, there is a different protocol for every type of malignancy.  We've heard many testimonies of people who were never sick, didn't lose their hair, never missed a beat and flew through the whole treatment process with flying colors.  Should you or a family member ever have to go through this, we would hope and pray that your treatment combination would be one with those kinds of results.  We were told from the beginning that Bill's treatment was considered one of the most aggressive, that his malignancy was better attacked with a "blast" and therefore, his side effects would be greater.  As of yesterday, he has lost his hair which we knew was a sure thing, but wasn't expected until sometime during round two.  Now that it has happened, we've both realized we were dreading how and when that would happen, so having it happen so quickly became a blessing in disguise.  It's over, it took me about five seconds to decide he looks kind of cute with the Mr. Clean thing going on and I cannot say enough about the stylist at his hair salon who wasn't phased when we flew in yesterday afternoon saying, "help!"

As for me, yes it was hard!  I did my crying while he was sleeping, but I make no bones about the pain of watching someone you love suffer so.  Many of you understand that feeling of knowing you'd trade places with them in a heartbeat if you could eliminate their pain.  I did lose weight - obviously, not in the correct way, but while he was so sick, I couldn't stomach the thoughts of eating anything myself plus doing anything that created an aroma was out of the question.  Fortunately, once his appetite returned, mine did as well.  Just wish he could gain the weight he lost as quickly as I've gained back the weight I lost.   Ahhh, but as we know, some things never change!

Thank you again for your comments and emails!  I will update as I can.  I thought I'd have more time to write and I probably did.  But I found that having the time to do it and finding the motivation to do it were two totally different things!

20 comments:

  1. Oh, my dear Sharon,
    First off - I'm sending huge Zen hugs to you both and the very best of positive vibes and good wishes for whatever is yet to come, treatment/recovery-wise.
    My lovely hubby has also had serious health problems (albeit not cancer) over the last few years, meaning three rounds of major eye surgery amongst other bits 'n bobs, so I truly sympathise with what you are both going through. Oh boy, I definitely 'get' the crying while he slept part!
    Don't forget to look after 'you' as well as looking after your Bill - he comes first right now, I know, but you can't support him to your best if you don't care for you too.
    I wish there was something I could do to help - only thing I can think of is to be here if you need a willing ear from afar.

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  2. I dont' know which would be worse--going through the treatment or having to watch someone you love endure it. Big hugs to you both.

    Which you could have gotten in person if you'd had your priorities straight. :) Just kidding, I'm so glad you got to go hiking! When I passed your exit, I actually said, "See you next time, Sharon", because I'm just weird that way. :)

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  3. Good time hiking, glad I got to see you and that Bill is doing better. I laughed when I read the comment about the stylist. Bald is boss! One of my patients at work started shaving his head a few years ago and he looks just as gorgeous bald. But we won't talk about that because I might embarrass myself, hee hee!

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  4. I'm glad you got in a hike. My 19 year old neighbor who has cancer decided to have some fun with going bald. Before her hair started to fall out, she shaved in stages. First she did just the top and front to have a fringe that matched her balding dad! Then she did the whole thing. Her boyfriend shaved his head too and posted photos online and they went viral, getting even international attention. Her mom, unlike you, actually gained weight because off all the foods they have had in the many months to try to tempt their daughter into eating something. I am thinking of you and Bill often. Hugs.

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  5. Glad to see you got to go hiking! That probably helped you mentally as much as physcially. I'm also happy your husband has gotten through round one of chemo. I hope the second round passes quickly and is easier. You and Bill hang in there - it will get better! Thinking good thoughts for both of you.

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  6. Sharon,
    Having lived through chemo with a family member, I know some of your pain. I know it is different as you stated in your post, everyone has their own cocktail. You and Bill have been in my heart and in my prayers. I appreciate you taking the time to share with us the deepest hurt. It is often harder to share that. (And I get the motivation thing too!)

    I was glad to see that you were able to hike. I know that was good for your soul.

    Keep us posted as you can. I'll keep you in my prayers during round 2.
    Lori

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  7. " having the time to do it and finding the motivation to do it were two totally different things"--that's where I am most days, and I'm not even dealing with anything as serious as you are!

    So glad Bill is having some good days, and really glad you got to hike on what looks like was a glorious day.

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  8. Oh Sharon, there are no words. Just cyber hugs and continued prayers for you both.

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  9. So happy to hear from you. It is a rough road you are on I know this for sure but when he is feeling better it's like the clouds have lifted, the sun is shining. I am holding you both in my heart for round 2 and am so glad to hear that he has come so well through round 1. Know that I am here for you anytime for anything I can do from too great a distance.

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  10. Found your blog through Pams who's I enjoy so I I joined yours as well, hopefully you will follow mine. I can only wish Bill all the best and hope for a positive result and he pulls trhough, my firends Mother-in-law sadly sucome to the evil. My best wishes and as a comedian I used to like would say may your God be With you

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  11. I do bet Bill can rock a Mr. Clean look! But I'm so sorry to hear how horrible the first round was, and I know you would take his pain if you could. I'm continuing to pray for you both, and I wish there was something more tangible I could do for you. Please, please let me know if there ever is.

    I'm thankful you were able to get out and enjoy fall in your mountains ;)

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  12. Will be praying you both through. Keep the faith!

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  13. So glad you got to get out and do some hiking. I'm sure that felt WONDERFUL--especially now that your Sweetie is feeling MUCH better. At least now, you'll know what you have to go through the next time --and will know now what to do along the way… God Bless you BOTH.

    Continued Prayers and Love and HUGS,
    Betsy

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  14. Thank you for the update Sharon. I didn't want to email and intrude. Glad you were able to get in a hike and get some time to decompress!

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  15. It's so good to hear from you, Sharon. I'm glad that Bill has moved through the agony to the recovery period, and that both of you are having a chance to catch your collective breath and dose up on some "normal" for a bit. The hiking must have felt so therapeutic - glad you got that in. Continued prayers and thoughts for you both. Will keep you in mind next week when Round 2 ensues. Hopefully the cancer cells have experienced the same destruction as poor Bill's GI tract and other parts!

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  16. Thanks for the update!! Cancer sucks!! Chemo bites!! So thankful round one is complete and you have a reprieve!! Prayers and hugs for round two!!

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  17. Sharon, I'm here. I check blogs infrequently, but I am ALWAYS on my email. More, you can text me if you like. I'm excellent for middle of the night sessions too! I'm glad you made it through round one, and I hope round two is easier. How's the other house?

    *HUGS*

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  18. Hugs to both of you and praying for you both. Thanks for blogging about this. I've worked in Heme-Onc for 15+ years. The recoveries never cease to amaze me. Here's to the courage and strength for the next steps...

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  19. I haven't been keeping up with my blog friends and I am overwhelmed. I will be in touch -- always on email, too -- and you know that you and Bill are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Lots of love and hugs!

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  20. Oh my, what a journey full of dark pain and joyful recovery periods, and I know you are feeling right along with your dear one. When he hurts you hurt and when he feels well so do you. I trust in pure healing for him. "I will restore your health and I will heal your wounds, says the Lord." Jeremiah 30:17.

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