Monday, May 25, 2015

In Memory Of.....................



 Little Bottoms Trail - Great Smoky Mountains National Park
May, 2015

To those of you who may still have me on your Blog Roll or in your Reader, this post will come as a complete shock and for that I truly apologize.  Since I last posted on December 8, 2014, my life has taken a total turn in a direction I never would have anticipated and even now, can’t believe has happened to me.
                             
But it did. 

Bill, Me, My Mom and My Dad

October 10, 2014 – McCloud Mountain

Jellico, Tennessee

On February 18, my sweet daddy, died of a brain hemorrhage after five agonizing days in the Neuro Critical Care Unit of UT Hospital.  He died peacefully with my mother’s arms around him, his granddaughter, my sister and I beside him.  He was 83 years old.  He was in declining health, but his quick death was unexpected.  Thankfully, all words had been said many times.  He knew we loved him and we knew he loved us.  I so miss his quiet manner, sweet smile and timid hugs.

 Little did I know that the greater shock was yet to come.  On March 18 (yes, one month to the day), I lost my sweet Bill to the horror that is cancer.  We had learned on December 23, that although his original cancer had been cured, new cancer had appeared in other parts of his body.  Despite more treatment, the cancer continued to spread quickly and in three short months, he was gone.  He died peacefully in his sleep. He was 59 years old and we had been married 37 years and 9 months. 


Bill and Me – Colorado Springs, Colorado
One of My Favorite Pictures of Us

Any reader of this blog knows that Bill was my life partner, my rock and my best friend.   His death was a complete and total shock as we both fully believed until the very end that he would beat the cancer.   He faced his illness and ultimately his death with a courage and determination that I can’t begin to describe. 

His Celebration of Life Service was attended by hundreds of people and only then did I even begin to realize the scope of his influence in our community and at the school where he taught.  His legacy will live on forever in the lives of many people. 

Why didn’t I know just how far-reaching his life had become?  Because when he came home, he was mine.  We lived life fully, we loved deeply and we had no regrets.  I miss him more than there are words in the English language to express and wonder each day if I will survive the pain.  To have lost my father and my husband in the span of one month is still simply incomprehensible to me. 

But thanks to an unbelievable community of support who have surrounded me with love and kindness, I am beginning to see glimpses of what life might be without Bill in it and I am finding my mind more open to discovering what God might have in mind for me to do and accomplish. 

One thing I know for sure is that I will write.  When I began this blog, five years ago this month, I began with the words, “I love to write, I always have.”  That has not changed and it gives me hope for my future that the words I had lost are beginning to come back.  How little I knew when the title of the blog came to me, that writing about the gains and losses of my life would only become more and more fitting as the years went by. 

So that is what I will do.  The blog will be totally and completely different.  But I hope you will stay with me as I attempt to move forward.   



27 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you, Sharon.

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  2. I am sorry to hear of the most difficult times you have been facing; you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. Of course we will stay with you, Sharon. I don't have you in a "reader" or anything, I just clicked occasionally to see if you had written anything.

    Of course I knew about your Dad and Bill. I am so sorry for the loss of these irreplaceable men in your life.

    I'm glad you are going to continue to write, and I look forward to the new direction your blog will take.

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  4. We are all here with listening ears (or viewing eyes) to see where God directs you from here down an unfamiliar and unplanned road. Love you sweet friend.

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  5. With tears running down my face I don't know what to say. I knew about both of these tragedies and yet to hear about them again brings them back fresh in my mind. Of course we are with you whatever you do. We keep you in our hearts. Your strength is a huge inspiration.

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  6. We are always with you , Sharon. Hugs to you.

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  7. Oh Sharon! I am SOOOOO sorry to read what you've been through over the last few months. We are here with you!!! And for you!!!! Big hug across the miles.

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  8. So so sorry. My heart is with you.

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  9. So sorry for your losses. May you continue to find strength at this difficult time.

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  10. I am so sorry to hear of the losses you have experienced. Please accept my sincere condolences.

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  11. So sorry to hear of your loss, but glad to see you back to writing. I hope that will help you. I only joined your blog a few months before Bill got ill but I found your story compelling, and will follow with a caring heart. We are just dealing with the death of a son this weekend. Have courage and strength.

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  12. Every time I see your blog title on my sidebar on my blog I've been thinking of the losses you've suffered. I'll be in touch soon, can't wait to give you a big hug when we finally meet again.

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  13. I'm so sorry for the loss of both your father and your beloved Bill. Of course I will still follow your blog, and am glad to see your post here today.

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  14. Oh Sharon, I am crying for you as I type. I am heartbroken for the pain you have suffered. It is a long and hard road to healing but you will make it. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Lori

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  15. Oh my gosh - what a terrible shock to lose your dad and then your wonderful husband within a short period of time! My heart goes out to you, Sharon, and wishes you all the best in your journey ahead. My sincere condolences!

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  16. Sharon - I'm so sorry for the surreal changes you are facing, with the loss of the 2 most important men in your life. I'd wondered about you and Bill a lot since it had been so long. Through your blog, I knew you two had a particularly close and wonderful relationship, and it will be a long time before your new normal begins to feel like the present moment unfolding. I'll read whatever you write, and my thoughts and prayers for you and your mom will continue.

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  17. Sharon, I am so very sorry. Thank-you for sharing this devasting news with all of us. I know Bill was you life partner and best friend. And losing your father, too. Life has got to be very disorienting right now for you. I know you and Bill have very strong faith, but still this is very hard.you are in my thoughts and prayers. Michele

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  18. Sharon, while I knew what had happened, I still am so sorry and I wish there was something I could say or do. No matter what, I'm still here. You can always contact me, and I'll be there. Whatever you need, from a friend far away! I'm so glad I was able to meet both of you!

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  19. Oh Sharon, I am so very very sorry for your double loss. I don't know what else to say. Know that you will be in my prayers.

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  20. What a double shock for you. I must say that 59 is too young, too young to go. I am praying for comfort for you as you go forward.

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  21. Sharon, you have been in my thoughts and prayers since last year. Here's to the next part of life. I'm glad you will still be writing and I look forward to your photos and writing. Hugs. Karen P.

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  22. Sharon, I have thought of you many times as you and Bill fought that battle, and had so hoped you had it beat. To lose your precious father and your husband and partner in such a short time is unthinkable. I hope you and your mother can help each other, and it sounds as if you have a wealth of friends you can also count on.

    As you know, I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago to cancer just nine weeks after the official diagnosis. I wish I could help you in some way. I have learned that you will never get over it, you will just learn to find happiness in making a new life. Let people help you when they offer-you need it right now. Take care of yourself-get enough rest and eat healthy foods. Take your vitamins. Get fresh air. I was told all of this and thought, yes, but it won't bring him back. True, but you need to stay healthy so you can deal with everything coming your way. Hugs and prayers for you, my friend.

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  23. Sharon, I had feared this since there was no post after the last doctor's visit, but it took me months to figure it out for sure. As a teacher who taught at Hardin Valley Academy in Knoxville, I had many former students who posted about their pain when one of "their favorite teachers EVER" died. They spoke of how much they loved him and how he loved each of them. I didn't make the connection at that time that they were talking about your husband. But I finally found a post on one of your friends' blogs (yes, I guess I was snooping trying to find out if you were OK) that shared about your unfathomable loss. At that point, I finally realized that the man you loved was also the man that so many of my former students had loved so deeply as well. Please take some comfort in how many lives he touched in such a positive manner. Take some solace in the mountains that you and he loved as well. There is healing there when you are ready.

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  24. My deepest condolences for the loss of your Bill. Please write…and write about anything. We're here for you.

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  25. Sharon I have not been on line much but decided to check on your blog today and just found this post. I am deeply saddened to hear of your losses. I am at a loss for words. Sending you hugs and much love across the miles.

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  26. The lovely photo of you two in Colorado . . . He looks like my Tony. The hat, the olive shirt, the jeans, the shoes.

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