I Admit It.....I'm Intimidated!

Since most of us are enduring incredible heat and humidity, thought a picture with snow in it might be nice.  This was taken on our 2009 Summer Trip at the end of the Loch Vale Trail in Rocky Mountain National Park.  Yep, that's me showing the traditional hiker cross-pole picture which signifies that I've reached the summit.  Now, given what you can see behind me, I'm not exactly sure what summit I thought I had reached, but it does look impressive, doesn't it????  Also easy to see that the 20 pounds I had regained at that point were every one below my waist and above my knees. Unfortunately, I gained 10 more before taking control.

What in the world was I thinking when I decided to include trying a new recipe and (heaven forbid!) POSTING A PICTURE of it on my blog as one of my goals for Deb's Freedom Challenge?  My cooking skills, or lack thereof, are a huge joke among all my friends and believe me, if I wanted to instantly add about 25 followers, all I'd need to do would be announce to them that I was cooking and posting pictures of it.  I read YOUR blogs, I become a follower of them, I drool over your food pictures, I commit the sin of envy, but whatever possessed me to think I could do the same?  So yes, I admit it, I'm really intimidated.   But I said I'd do it, so here goes.  

I found this recipe for Oat Cakes - A Pancake Alternative on a non-weightloss related blog that I have followed for a long time.  Mr. B and I both love pancakes, but I long ago began trying to eliminate white flour from my diet and "trick" him in to doing the same.  These are actually very good and the added bonus I found is that they are equally as good by themselves as a snack or covered with a thin layer of fruit spread, apple butter or anything else that strikes your fancy.  Here's my picture followed by the recipe.

Oat Cakes
4 cups traditional (not quick) oatmeal — ground to a flour-like consistency in food processor
4 cups almond/soy/rice milk  (I used almond milk)
4 T melted organic butter
4 large farm fresh eggs
1 tsp sea salt
2 tsp baking powder
-Soak oats for 12-24 hours in the milk (store in fridge overnight).
-Mix everything else into that.  

I used my griddle, made HALF the recipe and found that the batter made about 16 three-inch pancakes. Be aware that they are pretty dense and take longer to cook thoroughly and brown than normal pancakes do.  Delicious with a tiny bit of warmed Mrs. Butterworth's Sugar-Free syrup.

         FYI - Mr. B LOVED them!!  This is HUGE!

O.K. that wasn't so bad.  Please don't kick me off your blogroll for posting unimaginative food pictures.  I promise I'll get better.  For now, it's time for a snack.  Think I'll have another pancake.......................

Sunshine, Water and Rocks

Today's picture was taken early one May morning a couple of miles up the Big Creek Trail in The Great Smoky Mountains National Park. 

I know I am not alone in this, but for whatever reason, it has turned out to be a really tough week.  An unexpected and therefore, unplanned social situation derailed my good intentions again yesterday.  I simply do not deal well with restaurant situations and find that I almost harbor a hidden resentment towards the person who I blame for putting me in a position that I truly don't want to be in.  So it becomes easy to just say, "who gives a flip" and order what I usually order when with this particular person.  The consequences of doing something "different" or trying to offer explanations is just not worth upsetting the apple cart.  Then I'm frustrated for the remainder of the day because I felt I didn't have control and truthfully, really didn't have a choice.  Now I know, you ALWAYS have a choice, but sometimes you also make the decision to just roll with the punches and deal with your own feelings later.  This has almost become less about food and more about changing the relationship with this person.  

Today's picture is a place I return to again and again because I have found such peace sitting on the rock that gives me this view.  I'd like to share with you the things I "see."  In this scene are four primary things of beauty.  1) Sunshine, 2) water, 3) rocks, and 4) brilliant green foilage.  It is a picture of my life.

The SUNSHINE represents God's presence in my life.  Always there, brighter in some places than others, sometimes hidden by clouds, always seeking to be found.  

The WATER represents my life.  It began somewhere up around that bend, so long ago I can hardly remember, but it continues to flow right in front of me now and will continue to rush on by out of sight in to my future which I can't see, but I know is coming. 

The ROCKS represent the trials, difficulties and stumbling blocks of living life on this earth.  Notice that some are huge boulders, some are just large rocks, some are smooth stones, others are tiny pebbles.  Some are fully visible to everyone, some partially hidden and some completely hidden.  In fact, some hidden so completely, even I haven't found them yet.  We are all dealing with the boulder of weight/food issues and it's a big one!  So heavy, it will probably never be completely removed from the water in this lifetime.  You don't need to know all about my rocks - you have enough of your own.  But do take time to notice that, in the picture, you see more rocks than anything else and those are just the ones ABOVE THE SURFACE!! 

The GREEN FOLIAGE represents change.  I have now sat in this exact spot in all four seasons.  Every one looks completely different.   On this day was the beauty of spring.  New growth after a long desolate winter.  Summer will bring an even denser undercover and there will be times it will be hard to see the sunlight even on a clear day.  Fall brings the breathtaking colors for which these mountains are so famous.  It is indescribable, yet depends on the right combination of sunshine, cooler temps and summer rains to put on its best show.  Then comes winter. Bare trees, no green, but sunshine so brilliant one cannot possibly sit here without sunglasses. 

The sun is always shining.  Your understanding of God may be different than mine and that's o.k.  For me, God's presence is always right there shining down on the water of my life, clearly illuminating the rocks, through every season.  Sometimes, I have to change my position in order to get the full benefit of the sunlight, sometimes the rushing water of my life tosses the boulders aside or allows me the comfort of keeping them hidden until I am ready to deal with them. At other times, the water of my life picks up the boulders and carries them along with me.  Perhaps I need to grow more before letting them go or as is often the case with me, I'm too dense to realize all I have to do is DROP them and they'll sink all the way to the bottom.  It's also important to understand that there are always going to be rocks.  The water of my life rushes through the seasons and sometimes, I want to beg it to slow down.  But, oh how I have learned, that the pain and emptiness of winter bursts forth into the new growth and hope of spring.   The dense beauty of summer gives way to the brilliant colors of autumn and then the miraculous circle of life returns to winter.

How does all of this meandering relate to weight loss?  Maybe to you, not at all.  But to me, in the picture, I see a huge boulder almost completely covered by sunlight.  Right now, that's the progress I feel I am making towards my goal, but only in the sunlight of God's help.  Within a couple of hours, that same boulder was probably completely shadowed.  That's kind of how I've felt the last couple of days.  Does that mean the sunlight and progress is gone?  Of course not, it just means that for today, I have to work a little bit harder.  All the while knowing that tomorrow morning, the sunlight will return to my boulder.  The responsibility is always mine to keep the water of my life flowing freely while basking in the sunlight, resting in the shadows, dealing appropriately with my rocks and boulders as I walk through the changing of the seasons.

Thanks so much to all who continue to offer support, take time to comment and have become followers.  I never dreamed I would enjoy this so much.   

Holiday Backlash

I call today's picture, "Breakfast With A View."  It was taken this past May when Mr B and I spent a couple of days at The Pisgah Inn on the Blue Ridge Parkway in the mountains of Western North Carolina.  

I do it every time and I have no idea why!  I plan for an event, holiday, party, dinner party, luncheon, etc., successfully work the plan at the event and then have a total meltdown the day after when things are supposed to be back to normal.  Fortunately, I did not have a TOTAL meltdown, but very easily could have. This is when I am so grateful for my "weigh every day and pay attention only to the average of the previous seven days" method of tracking my weight.  But even so, I am not proud of the part of my brain that went out all on its own yesterday.  Since I turned 50, Mr. B has grown fond of saying, "who are you and what have you done with my nice, sweet, even-tempered wife?"  Well, I think it was "her" that inhabited my body yesterday and made all those poor decisions.  Thank goodness, the nice, sweet, even-tempered, Sharon is back on track and in control today.  Geez, what a way to start the Freedom Challenge.......................

In all seriousness, here is what I think went wrong.  I am having so much fun with my weight loss plan this time around.  I love writing the blog, reading and responding to comments, feeling as if I'm making lots of new friends and reading their blogs, finding new strategies, making new recipes, going to the farmer's market, trying new foods, and just flat-out approaching the whole thing differently.  The weight loss is very slow, but heaven knows, I am NOT suffering or hungry. As a result, my refrigerator is absolutely packed to the gills. I do not think one more thing will fit in it.  The pantry and the freezer in the garage are also pretty packed.  And with very few exceptions, everything is yummy, healthy, on my eating plan, fresh and any other word one might use to describe "good."  

So here is how it went yesterday...............Small soy protein bar (I make these from scratch) before walking on the riverfront with Mr. B.  After showering,  normal breakfast bowl of granola (which I also make from scratch) with milk and a grapefruit.  Nothing more until a lunch sandwich made with Arnold's 100% Stone Ground Whole Wheat Bread and some deli ham, turkey or roast beef, Hellman's low fat mayo, butter lettuce and portabello mushrooms.  But wait a minute, how did that sandwich end up with two slices of bread instead of one, two slices each of all three meats and a huge scoop of chicken salad (that I also made) on the side.  Man, that chicken salad is really good even if I do say so myself.  Think I'll have just a little bit more.  Whoops, how did those two wedges of Laughing Cow cheese and all those Triscuits (think "trigger" food) get on my plate?  I need a fruit so let's just go ahead and eat an apple with a few more Triscuits.  You get the picture.  Afternoon snack and dinner was more of the same. I was still eating less than one hour before I went to bed.  Not one single thing I ate was unhealthy. It was all so good. I knew it was too much, but I just couldn't stop.  

Here are the things I'm going to try to have learned.  This is a process which will last for the rest of my life.  I do not have to try every recipe TODAY.  Every new and yummy food item that a blogger mentions isn't something I have to go out and buy TODAY.  Summer produce is here for awhile and I don't need it all TODAY.  It's o.k. to buy small quantities of items in the store - I can always go back and get more. And most important of all, will I ever, ever learn that I simply cannot have large quantities of food in the kichen no matter how healthy it is.  Finish something BEFORE buying or making something else.  And thank the good Lord, I don't have a Trader Joe's anywhere near me.  THAT, my friends, would be disastrous.  

Here's the best news of all.  I'm free today. I sent that other woman packing and I'm in control of myself, my refrigerator, my pantry and my freezer.  The weight I gained should be gone tomorrow and I'm choosing to look at it from a humorous standpoint.  One of my Freedom Challenge goals is to plan menus three days this week.  I did that first thing this morning utilizing ONLY what I have in my refrigerator and pantry even eyeballing each thing to see how many proper servings are left.  

I've sent my holiday backlash far, far away and I believe I'm gonna be all right.  Hope you are.

(I considered blaming Blogger's issues for my problems yesterday since I wasn't able to "talk" to anyone via comments, but decided that probably wouldn't fly.  Nope, nobody to blame but me and that other woman!!)

The Day After

Today's picture is from Saturday's hike to Mt. Cammerer in the The Great Smoky Mountains National Park.  It was a little hazy, but still spectacular.

I hope everyone had an Independence Day as enjoyable as mine was.  We heard an excellent sermon reminding us that yes, we are free and for that, we should celebrate and be grateful.  But it doesn't stop there.  That hard fought for freedom wasn't won just for us to sit back and talk about how lucky we are to be free.  No, this freedom we enjoy challenges us to love, serve and treat others in exactly the same way that we would like to be loved, served and treated.   It was a wonderful reminder that freedom comes with a great deal of responsibility.

Mr. B and I had accepted invitations to two events both of which we knew would be lots of fun.  One was a cookout, the other we weren't sure of the menu, but it didn't matter because we would be arriving late and only for dessert.  This worked out to my advantage because I didn't not have to deal with two entire meals, both of which would have been a tremendous challenge for me.  I am pleased with the way I maneuvered through both events.  I ended up eating only a hamburger with trimmings, good sized helping of potato salad (this friend makes the world's BEST potato salad) and then a decadent helping of cake/ice cream.  I have paid for the cake/ice cream today in the form of a slight reaction to the high concentration of sugar.  Although I enjoy it as much as the next person, sugar is not normally my downfall or even "trigger" food (salty is another story), so I don't eat it that often and when I do, I can tell for several hours afterwards.  Since I planned for it, I suppose it was worth it, but the jury is still out on that one.  

We spent some time this morning breaking beans on the front porch of my in-law's house.  If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know the situation there and how precious time spent with my father-in-law is.  By early afternoon, we were back at home spending a quiet afternoon resting and relaxing.  For dinner, I prepared a wonderful grilled chicken salad with ingredients from our local farmer's market and chicken breast straight off the grill.  Also threw some zucchini fresh from garden on the grill and ate that alongside our salad.  A light and tasty dinner for a hot afternoon in East Tennessee.

I am excited to say I am participating in my first challenge since beginning this blog.  It is the Freedom Challenge sponsored by Deb who blogs at http://debwillbethin.blogspot.com/.  It began today and will end on August 2.  The rules are very simple which was great for my first challenge.  I also thought it was a nice touch that Deb suggested at least one of our goals be unrelated to weight loss.   These are the goals I set for myself during the four weeks of this challenge:

 1) Walking is my form of exercise. Since 2006, I have worn a pedometer, kept a log and averaged 10,000 steps per week. I'd like to increase that goal to 12,000 steps per week.

2) I want to begin planning menus in advance. I will plan menus three days this week and increase it by one day each week, so that by the end of the challenge, I'll be planning a week in advance.

3) Along with goal #2, I will find and try at least one new recipe each week and post a picture of it on my blog.

4) July 30th is my birthday. I will eat nothing with white sugar in it until that day (and maybe not then).

5) This is a "just for fun" goal since you asked that our goals be unrelated to weight loss.  I'd like to weigh 155 or less by my birthday. This is my 55th birthday (EEK!!) and I think it would be cool to be at or below 155 on my 55th birthday. I'm already very close, so this should be a easy no-brainer.

This challenge has a fun prize package at the end.  Maybe I'll win the prize in the first challenge I join.  How cool would that be?

Last Week's Average Steps:  14,412

Miles Hiked Last Week:   11.2

What Was I Thinking?

Today's picture is of the Mt. Cammerer Fire Tower in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.  Named after Arlo Cammerer, who was the Director of the National Park Service around the time the GSMNP became a national park, the tower can only be reached by hiking.  Although several fire towers still remain in the park, each is unique.  This one has a 360 degree view and on clear days, the vistas are among the best in the park.  Originally constructed by the Civilian Conservation Corp in the 1930's, it fell into disrepair in the 1970's. In 1995, it was reconstructed by the Appalachian Trail Conference and Friends of The Smokies once again allowing public access to the catwalk and interior of the tower. 

It is no secret to readers of this blog that travel and hiking are two of my passions.  With the exception of late June, July and August which can become unbearably hot/humid even in the higher elevations of the Smokies, hiking is something I try to do weekly.  Since it is most definitely July, I really did think twice when a friend invited me to hike to the Mt. Cammerer fire tower yesterday.  It is a 5.6 mile (think 11.2 roundtrip) hike with a huge elevation gain and rated strenuous.  That mileage is well within my distance range, but factoring in elevation change, heat and humidity, I quite possibly should have declined.  But I can't!!  I'm unofficially trying to hike all 900+ miles of trails in the park and this was one I had never done.  I kept telling myself how accomplished I would feel when marking that trail off my map with my bright orange highlighter.  (Little did I know, that marking off "ceremony" would not happen until this morning because once I got home last night and finally believed I wasn't going to die, I went straight from shower to bed.  LOL!!)  Fortunately, my hiking friend, who is a stronger hiker than I am, was very patient with my frequent stops to breathe during the first 2.5 miles which gained 2000 feet in elevation.  Folks, that's STEEP!  Following that, the trail moderates (not to be confused with level) and then there is the amazing construction of the tower itself and I can't even begin to describe the views in every direction.  But guess what?  After lots of gawking, picture taking, and a very nice lunch, there's is the realization that the hike is only half over.  And here's the thing.  Although hiking downhill is not the aerobic workout that hiking uphill is, I can assure you that hiking DOWN 2000 feet is no picnic either.  All 11.2 miles of this trail was incredibly rocky and by the time I saw my car in the hiker parking lot, every last muscle in my legs and hips were crying for relief.  Because of the heat, I had carried extra water in my backpack which meant extra weight, so my entire body was sore and weary. 

And isn't that much how it is with this never ending weight loss journey.  We know we can do it and we know the end result will be worth the pain, but oh my goodness, the journey seems impossible at the beginning.  But we take it one step at a time, the uphill battle is steep.  We stop, we struggle to breathe, we rest, we lean on a stronger friend for support, and most importantly, we keep moving forward, one step at a time.  Then we arrive at the mid-point and there is already such a sense of accomplishment.  Maybe we rest here for awhile, maybe we reward ourselves and enjoy the view.  But then there is the realization that the journey is only half over.  We tell ourselves that we made it this far, the "downhill" part will be easy.  But no, we suddenly want to hurry, we reach a plateau we can't get past, the rocks in the path get bigger, sometimes we get so tired of it all and say to ourselves, "what was I thinking?" and wonder if we should just quit.  But as steep as the downhill is, every step (pound) is leading us closer to the car in the hiker parking lot (goal weight).  And almost immediately upon arrival at the car, we turn around and look at that mountain we just climbed and say, "it was so totally worth it." 

I learned some new things about myself yesterday.   I challenged myself in several different ways and I won.  It wasn't easy for me to accept an invitation from a much stronger hiker than me to do a hike in conditions that I knew would be very challenging.  I wasn't sure I could do it.  But I did.  Am I sore today?  You bet.  But guess what else?  I lost a pound yesterday (which was a little surprising considering I drank 3 liters of water).  That means I'm less than 20 pounds from goal.  I'm starting the downhill part.  Will it be any easier?  No, in some ways it may be harder because losses will be slower, but I'll lean on that stronger friend for support, make good decisions, keep my eyes on the path, avoid stumbling on the rocks, and imagine that goal getting ever closer until all of a sudden, it's right there staring at me from the scale.   And on that day, just as my friend and I did yesterday when we reached the car in the hiker parking lot, I'll grab an ice cold soda from the cooler, look back at the mountain I just conquered, and say, "well done."

Oh My! Oh No!

 

 I'm going to "borrow" something Margie does on her RV Travel Blog and post a daily picture of "life through Sharon's eyes."  I love her pictures and hope she will consider this a form a flattery because that is truly what it is.  Today's picture is a view of my backyard taken in late May.  This is what I see out my den window where I sit while writing my blog.

Four weeks from today, on July 30, I will turn 55.  How can that be?  I don't feel "old."  In fact, I am probably in better health right now than I was in most of my 30's and 40's.  I certainly am more active and practice better eating habits.  But when I was 30, 55 didn't just seem old, it seemed ANCIENT.  So being the frugal (a.k.a. cheap) soul that I am, I am not looking at this birthday as becoming a "senior" anything, but as the date in which a whole new world of discounts become open to me.  I have told Mr. B that for my birthday present, I want to pick five places where I will become eligible for a discount.  Then I will go to each place and pick out any one item that I want.  For some odd reason, he has not yet agreed to this request.   I'll keep you posted!  Seriously speaking, I am happy to be celebrating this birthday because the truth is, I DO feel  strong and healthy, am content with the lifestyle we have chosen, feel blessed to have family and friends who love me unconditionally and am continuing to make positive strides toward becoming the person I believe God wants me to be.  On this earth, what more could one want?

Between now and July 30, there are a lot of things I would like to accomplish, not the least of which is being a few pounds closer to my goal.  In order to do that, I have several obstacles I'm going to be forced to navigate.  That would include two holiday cook-outs this weekend, my dad's birthday, my MIL's birthday and a niece's birthday,  I have already made the decision that we will acknowledge the birthdays in some way that does not involve food.  I'm still working on the best way to deal with the events this weekend.   In every instance, I'm trying to follow my own advice from this post last week. 

1)  Look for a way out of the situation (not possible)

2)  Find a way to work within the circumstances (yep, this is it!)

3)  Compromise (there will also be some of this)

I have done a lot of blog reading today and sense that lots of people are struggling.  Maybe it's the heat wave much of the country has experienced so early in the summer (although thankfully, we're enjoying a reprieve here in East Tennessee), maybe it's the upcoming holiday in which all of us will face one or more occasions to overeat, maybe it's your own illness or that of a family member, maybe it's loneliness or the fact that you DON'T have any holiday plans when it seems everyone else does, or maybe you are just tired, tired, tired of thinking/counting/analyzing everything that goes in your mouth and seeing little movement at the scale.  I've read every one of these situations in one or more blogs today.   Let's encourage one another as best we can.  Find a blog you haven't connected with in a while or a brand new one, and leave a comment. Friendship and support, whether face-to-face or in a virtual community, takes no holidays. 

A Whole New Month

What an incredibly busy week this has turned out to be.  Mr. B and I had several things we needed to accomplish prior to his beginning the summer school class he teaches.  Some of those things we could have done last week, but as you know, he ended up spending a full day with his parents and we were without air conditioning one day (when it was 96 degrees).  That eliminated any possibility of "house" things.  But with some planning and teamwork, which we are pretty good at, we spent Monday celebrating my mother's 82nd birthday, Tuesday was all about domestic type things and yesterday, was OUR day.  And we PLAYED!!  We drove up to the Clingman's Dome area of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park where it was a blissfully cool 63 degrees.  We did some walking, a whole lot of talking and indulged in a nice picnic lunch.  It was a wonderful day.  This morning, he began his summer school session with a full class of 40. 

I am somewhat disappointed with a loss of only 3 1/2 pounds during the month of June.  I knew that the rate of loss would be slower this time around because my eating plan was different, but I had still hoped for a 5-6 pound loss each month.  Around mid-June, I decided that, just for July, I'd return to the very regimented eating plan I used in 2006-2007 when I lost 60+ pounds.  I averaged an 8-9 pound loss per month.  But now that July is here, I can't find the motivation to do that.  I've begun to truly enjoy being creative with meal planning and with the gorgeous produce coming in, I just plain don't want to miss out.  I'm finding great ideas and recipes in other blogs and online - bottom line is, this time around, I want to choose to be happy with a slower rate of loss instead of being impatient and seeking a quick fix.  After all, I'm only 20 1/2 pounds from goal.  Even at this slow rate of loss, I'd still be at or near goal before 2011.  And the way I am eating now, transitioning into maintenance should be easier.  That transition phase has always seemed to be my downfall, so maybe all my questioning now is just a way of thinking ahead..............Wow, got on a bit of a ramble, didn't I????    

This past Monday, we celebrated my mother's 82nd birthday by taking her and my dad to Cades Cove for some scenic driving then to lunch at Miss Lily's Cafe in Townsend, TN.   I know that what I am about to say is pretty radical, but I am not a huge fan of restaurant eating.  It just seems to me that the quality of food served in restaurants continues to deteriorate while the prices (and portion sizes) continue to rise. I also learned very early on that I could not lose or maintain an acceptable weight eating in restaurants with any degree of regularity. I simply did not have the desire or willpower to choose items I didn't want just because they were on whatever eating plan I happened to be following. If I couldn't have the bread, dessert, sauce, casseroles, etc., I preferred not to go at all.  The sacrifice was just not worth the money spent or socialization gained.  

So Mr. B and I made the decision when deciding whether or not I could retire, that dining in restaurants was an area we could easily eliminate except on special occasions or in circumstances beyond our control.  We aren't obnoxious about it. When friends invite us to go out for a meal, we go.  When we receive gift cards, we gratefully use them. When someone wants to take us out as a gift, we go and enjoy it.  When my mother's birthday rolls around, we take her out because that is HER favorite thing to do and something my dad will not take the initiative and plan. 

Miss Lily's is a lovely cafe where we've eaten several times.  I carefully scanned the menu online prior to our visit and made the choice of what I would order with the high and mighty proclamation to Mr. B that I would not even open a menu once we were seated.  Well, of course, that didn't happen.  Not only did I open the menu, but promptly ordered an entire lunch that included NOTHING of what I had planned.  When our food arrived, I ate every bite and only after I was back home did I have the "what was that all about??" moment.  It is a scenario that happens time and time again with me and restaurants.  Is it possible for a restaurant, ANY restaurant to be a "trigger" food?  It works better for me to avoid them altogether and when faced with a situation beyond my control, just do the best I can, eat what I want and compensate for it later. 

Now is one of those times I wish my blog was older and I had more readers because I would love to have a lot of feedback on this issue.   How often do you eat in restaurants?  Why do you eat in restaurants?   Do you plan ahead by looking up the menu and choosing what you will order?  Do you generally follow through?  Is it worth it to choose something "on plan" when you see things you'd much rather have?  Do you relate amount of money you are spending with ordering something that might not be exactly what you want?  Share with me any thoughts you have.  I'm interested.

I have two holiday challenges coming up this weekend.  Both are cookouts and both will be difficult.  I'm sure I'm not alone and there will be lots of blogging over the next few days providing suggestions and encouragement.  We've got to help each other.