Sunrise, Sunset - 2010 Gains and Losses

As the sun sets on 2010 for the last time, I thought I'd take a moment and share with you my greatest gains and significant losses from this year.  A post providing all the details would  take way too much time, but just know that there is a story behind every one of these things that have made the lists.  Many of you have shared them with me, others you'll learn more details as time goes on.  Thanks for sharing your lives with me through your blogs and comments.  And my heart fills with gratitude that you find mine worth coming back to again and again.  Happy New Year to each of you.  I count you all my FRIENDS!

Sunset through my eyes - Gulf of Mexico, Venice, FL

December 31, 2010

Losses:

5)   Margie - Margie Mallin was my first "follower" when I began this blog last May.  She blogged here and we found much in common.  Although she and her husband, Bruce, lived on the opposite coast from me, we were already making plans to meet.  Tragically, she and Bruce were killed in October, by a suicidal driver, while on their morning walk.  This post of mine was written in response to this one Margie had written a couple of days earlier.  It was one of the last posts she wrote.  I wrote this post after hearing of her death honoring her in the best way that I could.  I think of her every day and just writing this brings tears to my eyes again.
 

4)   Travel - Since Mr. B is a college professor, we have lots of time to indulge our passion for travel during his breaks.  Due to the illness of his father, we did not take an extended summer trip this year and we both felt that loss keenly.  For us, it is more than just vacation, it is a time of reconnection, education and learning.  Without it, we both feel a sense of loss.

3)   Weight Loss Momentum and dream of reaching goal by year end - Between January 1 and August 19, I lost 16 pounds of the 30 I needed to reach goal weight.  This momentum came to a abrupt and unanticipated HALT on August 19.  I was never able to get it back and by late fall gave up my dream of reaching goal by year end.

2)   My health - This is one that needs a post all on it's own, but in summary......I have a chronic illness that was diagnosed when I was 28.  For years, it has been in remission, but has decided to rear it's ugly head again.  Am in the process of working with my doctor to determine if a change in meds is needed or where we need to go from here.  It is not something that will kill me, but unless gotten back under control, could substantially hinder my ability to hike, bike or do most any sort of strenuous physical activity.  This would be devastating to my mental state.

1)   Pap - No one who has read this blog for any length of time will be surprised by this.  My precious father-in-law who loved me like a daughter, died on August 19 after a slow onset of advanced dementia, but then a very quick and sudden decline.  We are so thankful that what could have gone on for years, ended quickly and painlessly, but our hearts still miss him so.  Should you have missed this and want to read more, most of my August posts talk about this.

 Sunrise from Mt. LeConte - GSMNP

September, 2010

Gains:

5)  Greater level of contentment in all circumstances - I can't really explain this, but as the year ends, I feel a sense of peace and contentment that I haven't felt in a long time.  Reading back over the course of this blog, I believe getting to this place is reflected in the posts.  It is my sincere desire that it has been a process leading towards a breakthrough year in 2011 when many things in my life will come together.

4)   Hiking goal reached - A very aggressive goal of hiking 300 miles was set and achieved.  I am absolutely thrilled to have reached this goal. 

3)   Ended year at lower weight - I did not reach my goal weight in 2010, but I am very happy to say that I am starting this year 10 pounds less than I started 2009. 

2)   Closer walk with God - This, of course, is very personal and private, but it has been a breakthrough year in learning how my relationship with God affects every moment and relationship now and coming to a greater acceptance that this life is only a preparation for the next one.  My purpose in being here at this place and time is not to be "happy," but to make God smile.  And that is exactly what I want to do!

1)   My Blog - This blog is without a doubt, my greatest GAIN for 2010.  I had absolutely no idea what to expect on May 14 when I hit publish for the first time and this appeared in print.  I had no idea what a "follower" was or why in the world anyone would want to "comment!"  Thank goodness, I learned!  I love writing this blog, I have lots of ideas for the future of it, but mostly, I love that you stay with me through thick and thin.  You continue to read when my posts are too long and rambling!  You practiced tough love when needed, but also gave me the tender care I so desperately needed when my heart was breaking and my appetite raging.  I cannot thank you enough for all you've become to me.

I wish for all of you a 2011 filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, humility and self-control.   Happy New Year!

Sunrise, sunset 
Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly fly the years,
One season following another,
Laden with happiness,
And tears!
from "Fiddler On The Roof"