Monday, June 27, 2011

Welcome Home - Reality Sets In!!

Yes, these are real!   Aren't they beautiful?
Poppyies growing beside a home in Durango, Colorado - June, 2011

By the end of this post, you are probably going to think I've spent a considerable amount of time rolling around in an entire field of poppies, but that's not the case.  Unfortunately, I am very much of a sound mind sitting in my den in Tennessee.   We had a wonderful trip home from Colorado and once more, if you are interested in reading about the things we saw and did during that four days, here's a link to the journal I kept for our family and friends.

But this morning, reality came crashing down and from this point forward, this post can't help but reflect the discouragement that hit me square between the eyes.  I'm feeling a lot more like the dude on the right than whoever that "adorable" (thanks, Karen) cutie is on the left.

Those wide eyes and grimace are exactly what was on my face when I stepped on the scales about 6:15 a.m. this morning.   Yes, I expected a gain as evidenced by the fact that this daily weigher had not been on the scales since last Wednesday morning, but no way did I EVER expect it to be SEVEN pounds.  Yep, that's every pound that I had lost while in Colorado right back on in five days.  I was expecting two, maybe three, pounds, but SEVEN?????   No way - but there it was.

Am I angry?   Perhaps.  Because it is one of those days when it just doesn't seem fair.  But then, the reality of it is that it ISN'T fair.  Life isn't fair and we all know that.  The reality of it is that I always have and always will have a sluggish metabolism that gains weight VERY quickly even when I don't perceive that I'm eating large quantities of food.  That is what seems so unfair.  Have I binged?  Absolutely not.  Have I overeaten?  Not excessively.   Have I eaten when I wasn't hungry, late at night or extra snacking?  Not really.   So yes, I'm a little angry, but mostly just frustrated.  Frustrated at how this struggle just seems so endless.

So what's the deal??  Here's the good news and another opportunity for me to thank you, my blog friends for the care and support you've given me over the past year as I've struggled with so many issues regarding my weight and the "whys" of it.   Because I've learned so very much.   I know what has happened, I know what to do and best of all, I caught it in five days!!!   

1)  My body HAS to move.  This is a non-negotiable!  And I went from hiking/biking/walking an average of 15,000 steps per day for six weeks to multiple days of being almost completely sedentary.  Four of them were spent riding in a car which is even worse.  And once we were home, it was so hot, humid and stormy that I couldn't bring myself to go outside.  This was a huge adjustment after the cool temps and cloudless blue skies in Colorado.  But my body HAS to move or it WILL gain weight no matter what I eat or don't eat.  Thanks to Mr. B who suggested that we walk in the mall each morning before he goes to school.  He's such a sweetheart, knows how I HATE walking in the mall, but will do just about whatever to help me.  This was his idea and we started this morning.

2)  I cannot eat at restaurants on a regular basis.  I simply do not (and may not EVER) have the discipline.  Arriving back at home after being gone for 6 1/2 weeks brought an immediate onslaught of invitations for dinner out or dinner at someone's home.  From Wednesday evening through last night, we did not eat one single meal at home except breakfast.  I did not want to do this and I tried to make good choices, but this is a no-win scenario for someone who gains weight as easily as I do.

3)  Psychologically, having "choices" taken away from me made me mad and that "anger" led to "I'm being forced to do things I don't want to do, so to heck with it."  Longtime readers of this blog will remember a series of posts I wrote on this very topic a long time ago.  I do NOT react well to being "forced" into eating situations not of my choosing and that anger translates into a "these people are forcing me to do things I don't want to do, so who gives a rip."  I am so much better than I used to be (thanks to writing it all out a long time ago), but I HAVE to learn to say "no!"  And I don't mean "no" once I'm already into a situation I don't want to be in.  I mean "no" to the invitation altogether or "no" that's not acceptable - we need to choose something else.  I know my limits and I know my reactions.  Those who truly care about me in my "real" world know my struggles and will adjust if I'll just have the courage to use that two-letter word "no."  Sometimes that stance seems harsh and selfish, but it's a two-way street and those who aren't willing to meet me halfway should probably tell me something about that relationship to start with!

And here's the plan:

1)  1200 calories per day.  This works for me.  Less in not enough nutritionally.  More does not result in losses.  Right now, I'm not going to obsess over exactly what those 1200 calories are.  I'm going for as much "bulk" calories as I can in order to stay full, but I am naturally a nutritious eater so will gravitate towards "good" stuff as a rule.  With the exception of bread and crackers, no argument can be found with WHAT I eat.  I just eat way too much.  And even a perfect eating plan can backfire if portion control is not closely monitored.  I will weigh and measure meticulously. 

2)  12,000 steps per day.  I normally strive for 10,000 daily, but am increasing that to help jumpstart.  Mr. B is a lifesaver.  I despise walking in the mall, but his going with me at 7:30 a.m. makes for great communication time and the stores in the mall have not yet opened, so its actually quite peaceful.  Getting the exercise done early in the morning is also a huge plus for me.  That leads to #3.................

3)  Visit BlogLand and write posts in the afternoon.  This is a routine I established last year and boy, does it work well for me.  My most difficult period of the day is late afternoon through dinner time.  I am most likely to overeat, snack or binge during this time.  I discovered that if I wrote my posts, read other blogs and sought out new blogs during this "tough" time of the day, it served as a huge encouragement to me.  I need to reestablish this habit and KEEP it.  But darn it, I love reading your posts first thing in the morning, so I may cheat on that one a bit.

4)  No white flour, no sugar.  Eliminating these two items will result in an immediate loss.  Neither are my current "triggers," but both have been consumed lately.

5)  Water, water, water  I'm good at this as water is my drink of choice, but there's always room for improvement and it is so darn HOT here that no amount of water is too much!

6)  Track progress in blog.  Haven't decided yet exactly how I will do this, but I'll keep you posted (and ME accountable) for how I'm doing.

Today has been easy once I got over the shock of stepping on the scales this morning.  Remember, I was expecting a gain, so had already begun psyching myself up for what I knew I had to do.  It was just that doggone SEVEN pounds.  What dufus (me!!) can gain seven pounds in five days and not realize it?

It's been a tough reentry all the way around!   The painters had begun painting our house from the April 27th hailstorm only to find some extensive water damage around our chimney that we, nor the insurance adjuster, had realized was there.  So our repair work is going to take more time and be quite a larger headache than what we had originally anticipated.  I am SO glad we didn't know that before we left!!

I am excited to be fully back in BlogLand and can't wait to get back to a regular routine of posting and commenting.  I've read frequently, so I know what's going on with most of you, but have done very little commenting.  Thanks for all your encouragement.  I value it highly.

So where are you in your journey right now?   Are you making progress, suffering through a tough patch or feeling like you are at the bottom of the barrel?   Bring me up to date............................


  1. You can get rid of that seven. And your plan will do it. Early last week I gained 3 and got it off before Sunday's weigh-in. (I weigh daily, but Sunday is the official one.) Portion control, water, exercise. No sweets will help, also. You can do it, girl!

  2. Oh I am so with you - so slow to come off and so quick to go back on! I think you have a great plan and I have the utmost confidence in you. Those afternoons have been hard for me too. I think I might have told you already that one thing that really helps me is running errands then, not something I'd usually do. Another... a second short afternoon workout. I don't eat when I'm exercising:)

    As for me... I have some posts that I've been working on and are overdue. The scale says I am "there" but the reality is I am not sure I'll ever be "there." Because I guess my goal is not defined by a number anymore but by my relationship with eating and while it is sooo much better, it is not "there."

  3. Forgot to mention that I saw on the news this morning that there might be tornadoes coming to your town!!! Did you pack them in the car from Kansas?!

  4. Welcome back. I missed you.

    I am always stunned about the amount of weight I've gained in proportion to the off plan food. It seems like no matter how hard I try and what I choose to eat, if I'm eating out, I'm going to gain. I've decided this is just a fact of life for me and I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with it. So far, I haven't come up with a good plan.

    I think you have a good plan for getting those 7 pounds off. It really is just a net gain of one since you lost 6 while you were traveling. You really can't help the amount of time you had to spend in the car. I have a feeling once you get back in to your routine those 7 pounds will slide right off.

  5. Hey Sharon, I have followed your blog for a while now! Welcome home! Just wanted to let you know that I can always count on a 5 lb weight gain when I travel by car. I think it is something about just sitting! I am sure you will get those 7 pounds off!!!

  6. Hi Shron! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog, and introducing me to yours. I enjoyed this post and plan to look through your archive over the next few days.

    I can sure relate to the rude awakening at the scale! I had the same thing happen about 7 weeks ago when we spent a week in Atlanta for my son's college graduation. I actually lost weight there despite eating out a lot - I just didn't graze in between meals or add in much junk. Within a week of getting home, I was up 7 pounds. It's gone now, but really...I was so frustrated with myself!

    Your plan sounds good, and quite a bit like mine. The no sugar and no white flour are key for me. If I don't put the first bite in my mouth, I'm okay. But one bite is all it takes to unleash the raging torrents!

    I'll be back to watch your progress!

  7. I'm so glad you made it home safely! That's the most important thing to me. Well, and that you had a great time.

    This may be crazy, but do you suppose the higher altitude in CO might have resulted in some lighter weigh-ins? I don't know if that's even possible. :)

    I'm on track, but when your track is as wide as mine, that's not so difficult. LOL

  8. Where in my journey? Well, I actually think I'm at a new place... turning down a new path. I was fascinated by the CrossFit workout I attended this weekend and then read an incredibly inspiring post about CrossFit on I think I may be embarking on a CrossFit journey, which is pure craziness that I'll be certain to document WELL on my own blog.

    AND it looks like that photo is at an Oz museum of some sort... one that I must attend. Lifesize Oz stuff - I'm in.

  9. Welcome back and likely those "7" are probably some water too, so don't panic. Looks like you've got a plan organized. You'll have them off in no time. I agree about so many things in this post - I have to have some "off limits" things and it's taken me years to realize that it's just me and a necessity for me, and exercise is also non-negotiable. I'm proud of you!
    PS Thank you for following my blog and supporting me. Also thanks so much for the surgery prayers. I could feel that we were really lifted up by our Christian brothers & sisters. God is good!

  10. Sending hugs and support your way. I'm here blogging instead of looking for snacks in the kitchen. Works for me, too. Felt very discouraged yesterday, but just got back on track this morning. Weight Watchers and the gym tomorrow.. and just keep putting one foot in front of the other as I walk this tough journey. Glad to have friends to walk with!

  11. I really think some of that weight is just travel pounds. I bet it comes off easily, which will mean it was not a true weight gain after all. And also why you didn't notice it. Believe me, if you gain 7 solid pounds, you will notice it. Not that I've experienced anything like that recently...

    And you know if I was there, I could help you with that two letter word. I'm so good at it my friends don't ask me out any more LOL.

  12. Sounds like a solid and determined plan to me. I'm sure you'll be shrinking real fast. :-)

    And one thing I learned along the way that really helped me when I need to say "no"... is that I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN. I don't need to come up with ANY "excuse", good or otherwise. "No thank you, can't make it, but I appreciate the offer anyway...", does it just fine for me.

    If they can't respect that, that's not my problem, LOL! Hey, this is my health we are talking here. Gotta fight for it, ya know??! ;-) No is no... if someone won't accept that, it's because it's turned into a matter of them trying to control or force their will... and that just shows who they are really are, and the true relationship we have... or don't have, I guess!

    You'll be fine... I read such determination in this post. :-)

  13. Welcome back Sharon! I know how you feel having a gain and feeling like there is so much work ahead again!

    I also know that you can do this, drop the weight and maintain it.

    I gained 6 pounds over the last Winter months and I was not happy about it!

    Like you I know that I have to exercise, I have to be aware of what I am eating and I have no room for overeating on any regular basis. I swear I can gain weight just thinking about food! Okay maybe not really but at times it feels like that happens.

    It is my lot in life that I have to watch what I eat and I have to exercise in order to look the way I want to look. Sometimes it just makes me mad and then I think well, it's not life and death, it is something I can control and I still get to eat amazing food.

    I have been hosting a Small Change Challenge on my blog and I have lost 3 pounds in the process so things are going well.

  14. I am so glad you are back. Safe and sound. The pictures you shared on this and your other blog (which I visited a few times) are beautiful. It does ones heart good to be gone for such a long time. I am sure that it revitalized you in many ways.

    Back to your post. You know, too, that my own metabolism is very sluggish. It is discouraging, but, like you there is nothing I can do, but just keep it up. I know you will shed those 7 pounds, it will take time, that's all. Dang it. Time.