Get Your Head Out Of The Water!

 

"The wild gander leads his flock through the cool night,
Ya-honk!  he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation:
The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listen closer,
I find its purpose and place up there toward the November sky."
-   Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855, I Celebrate Myself, Line 238

I am well aware that the mallards in the reflecting pool on the Mall in Washington DC and the wild gander Mr. Whitman wrote about in the above quotation are two totally different types of fowl.   But oh, the analogy that jumped out at me as I recalled this post already half written while Mr. B and I watched the perfectly formed "V" of the wild gander leading his flock high above the expansive grounds of Biltmore Estate.  Then to find this quote actually contains the reference to the November sky screamed loudly to me that November will be a month of meaning for me.  The coincidence of all these things just to eerie to not sense something about to happen.  

I'm a simple girl trying to lead a simple life and it doesn't take much to entertain me.  We watched these mallards ducking their heads and sticking their tails up in the air for well over half an hour.  We laughed till we cried at how they were able to accomplish this totally in sync with each other.  (This all happened of course AFTER Mr. B tried to entice me to run fully clothed through the reflecting pool yelling, "Forest, Forest"....i.e. Forest Gump)  At the time, the mallards were just funny.  It was only after I looked at the pictures did I notice how much it reminded me of the avoidance tactic, "if I can't see it, it doesn't exist."  Just stick your head under water and your tail up in the air.  Or perhaps, in the case of the geese, just mindlessly get in line flying south in perfect formation and therefore avoid the cold, harsh impending winter. 

As Mr. Whitman says, the "pert" may find all this meaningless, but I choose to believe that in the great circle of life, all things are connected and I can find much meaning, purpose and place under the water, in the sky and during the month of November.  The mallards don't STAY under the water, the geese COME BACK in the spring and a very determined Sharon chooses to do the same in November.

November is a month in which we focus on gratitude and giving thanks.  I refuse to begin this month on a tone of discouragement as discussed in my last post.  On the other hand, I refuse to be anything less than honest by telling you that I've had a complete turnaround and a whole new start.  

Instead, I will say these things.  My head is out of the water, but I will not fly south mindlessly following any particular leader who with one "ya-yonk" orders me into a particular place in the formation.  I've always been one who marches to the beat of a different drummer and pretty much does my own thing really never caring if the crowd agrees with me or not.   There are some areas in my life far away from BlogLand in which I'm having to establish some new boundary lines and that is uncomfortable.  It is affecting my weight loss journey in a way I'm determined to change.   And where the change must begin is in my refusal to make excuses for poor eating that leads to discouragement.  It just doesn't have to be that way.   Diane wrote an excellent post this morning on Emotional Eating.  I know that in some instances, I overeat in response to certain emotions.  But I also believe it is deeper than just saying, boredom, anxiety, etc.  This is something I'm exploring right now and am certain that doing the hard work to pinpoint this particular emotion will open up some much needed insight into my current discouragement.  So, today, as neurotic as it may sound, I am much encouraged within the face of my discouragement.  Progress is being made and that's why this blog remains such an important part of my journey.

My long term goals remain the same and I am particularly grateful to those of you who forcefully reminded me that I have lost 45.5 pounds and maintained that loss for three years.  The remaining 20 will come off at the right time and my job for the month of November is to lighten up and focus on the successes while learning new lessons about appropriate eating, proper boundaries in relationships and coping gratefully with gains and losses as I see them through my eyes!

So get your head out of the water, your tail out of the air, your wings out of the "V" and come along for the ride.  Let's all march just a little bit differently than everyone else.  That's what makes each of us unique!  I am so thankful for every comment you take the time to post.  It means a lot and gives me courage to continue with both the writing and the weight loss. 

My November is going to be NO-NONSENSE!   What's yours going to be?