Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Question......I Need Advice

After yesterday's mega-post, I plan to keep this one short, but I need some advice.  So far, I have kept the fact that I am blogging to myself and those who find me at random or from another blog.  I love the fact that I have "friends" from all parts of the country, but there is still a part of me that would like to share my blog with current friends and family members who have always been so supportive of my weight loss efforts.  Many of them are struggling to lose and/or maintain weight themselves and we've spent countless hours discussing the battle.  But by opening the blog up to friends and relatives, would I be constantly filtering my writing through the lens of "what will they think?"  And do I really want to set myself up for the verbal "comments" I might receive?  My blog will always describe my thoughts and my life on that particular day which includes personal information i.e. when we are away from home or struggles I might be having with particular people.  I just want the blog to always be "real" and I never want to choose words based on who I think might be reading.

I've read a lot of blogs and this is something I haven't seen anyone write about.  Can you help me?  Who has access to YOUR blog?   Have you opened it up to friends, co-workers, family members, neighbors, etc.?   Has it made any difference in the way you write? 

We are still in Lexington, KY.   My husband's conference ended yesterday, so now we have three days for fun.  Today, we are headed to Louisville for the day.  It's about 1 1/2 hours to the west of Lexington and in keeping with our "no interstate" philosophy, we'll head west on U.S Hwy 60.  We lived in Louisville for 6 years in the early 1980's when my husband was in grad school.  Every few years we enjoy going back and revisiting just to see how it has changed.  We'll eat lunch at Kingfish Restaurant, a Louisville tradition.  It's really not all that great anymore, but is nostalgic for us simply because it's the place we went for special occasions that we always had to save up for.  For sure, it's not a place for someone trying to lose weight - we'll see what they offer and whether I can pass up the Fried Clams which was their specialty.  I'll let you know.


  1. I am actually leaving for Louisville today! Do you have any suggestions of what to do/see? I would love to hear them.

    To the original question at hand--my family and a handful of close friends know about my blog. I started my blog because I thought about food and the weight loss/get healthy thing all. the. time. and I figured it would get incredibly boring/annoying to talk to people in my real life as much as I thought about it. (not to mention that unless you've really dealt with food issues for yourself, I think most people don't get it -- particularly the obsession).

    I started a blog instead of talking to folks in real life about my issues with weight and food -- a place to process my feelings and dealings with food, and to document what exactly is going on in my journey. I have also met several neat people who are strangers in life, but who I feel a real connection or kinship with since we share many of the same neuroses about food.

    I hope your day in Louisville is great! Who knows, I may even run into you this evening :)

  2. Sorry I just realized I overlooked one aspect of your question: has my audience affected how I write? For me the answer is yes absolutely.

    I, like your husband, am a college professor and I am slightly terrified that work people will find my blog. I have told a few friends who are staff about the blog, but I do not tell my professor colleagues about it mostly because I think it's none of their business but also because I don't want them to think of me as someone with so many hangups about food (I am in a very male dominated profession). Although I have not told them or any of my students about it, I think it would not be incredibly difficult for them to find if they were truly on a mission to do so.

    As a result, I write almost exclusively about weight loss and its intersection with my daily life. I do not talk about colleagues for the most part and stuff that happens at work for fear that it could come back to haunt me. I have talked about aspects of my dysfunctional relationship with my dad (which is very hard for my mom to read), but I give her a heads up and give her mild censorship privileges -- if she thinks anything is an overshare or should be omitted, I respect her wishes on such issues.

    Hope this helps. I look forward to reading through your archives and am glad to have found your blog.

    (Out of curiosity where in the Smokies do you guys live? My mom went to Carson Newman out that direction, which is why I ask. I have another friend who has moved out there to work at Milligan College as a librarian).

  3. Sharon,
    I told a few close family members and friends when I started my blog. I was very careful in those I selected because I was revealing what I felt to be a deep, dark secret. I was concerned about acceptance after that revelation, which I think is evident in some of my earlier posts.

    I learned quickly that those folks loved me and accepted me. The ones that commented, expressed only support.

    Even with all of that, I find that I edit myself a little bit. I think I am being completely honest about the weight loss piece which is the main focus of the blog anyway. I edit things like family life, and job stuff.

    As I'm typing this, though, I'm beginning to question if that is being totally honest about the weight issue. All of those things have some impact on how I feel and that can have an impact on how I eat. Hmmm...I've got some thinking to do...

  4. Hi, sweet Sharon! Well, you know by reading my blog that mine is 'top secret'. hehe! I have another blog that isn't and is open to all my friends and family. I feel totally different about the two blogs. My weight loss one is where I feel I can be totally unguarded and honest about my feelings. I'm more 'aware' of everything I say on my other.

    Love you!


  5. Mine is a little different because I'm not in the weight-loss mode. So my friends and family do know about my blog. If I were losing or my blog was different I don't know if I would tell everyone I knew. That's a hard one. You have to do what feels right for you.

  6. Thanks, guys for your input. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. Maybe nothing for the time being. I love the feedback I'm already getting from you. That may be all I need for now. Sarah, welcome to my blog. Hope you come back. I've marked yours to read when we get back home and I have some time. BTW, my husband and I both graduated from Carson-Newman College in 1977. Who is your mom? Small world.............