Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Fat Lady (Me) Is Still Singing....................
December 30, 2009 - 16 pounds heavier than now
................and if she doesn't stop singing soon, she's going to be right back where she was in the picture above. I know all of the things you've said are true. Yes, I've experienced pain, stress, overwhelming grief, numbing exhaustion, fear of the unknown, dread of how we would handle death when it actually happened, etc, etc, etc. Yes, I must give myself time to recover and yes, I know I will turn this around and get back on track. But for crying out loud, what's up with this out of control, if it's in my pantry, I have to eat it, all out binge? I've eaten everything from chocolate chips (thanks a lot, whoever mentioned them) to copious amounts of bagels (remember the ones we bought in Boone, NC back in May??), to three kinds of yummy, fluffy sugar filled "salads" back at my MIL's (you know the kind full of cool whip, jello, nuts, cream cheese, etc) to Honey-baked ham and fried chicken......guess you get the picture. Oh, and after taking MIL to several places she need to go this morning, she took me to Olive Garden for lunch where I enjoyed several bowls of soup and after round one of salad, I just told the server to hand me that gigantic bowl they bring it in and not even bother with a salad bowl. (BTW, I am just kidding about that!!)
I truly thought I was o.k. When I went to bed last night, I thought I had recovered the resolve that has served me so well for several months now. I'm seriously afraid. One minute I think I'm o.k. and the next minute my mind is back in the pantry or out in the freezer. I happen to know there are NINE more of those bagels.
Help me friends. It was really hard to write that first paragraph because I have it in my mind that none of you have had a serious relapse like this where you were eating stuff as fast as your mind can figure out where to find what you were going to eat next.
Please tell me if you have and what did you do to get back on track? If everybody will tell me one thing, I'll print them and post a copy on my pantry door, my fridge and my freezer. Maybe if your little faces are looking at me, I'll think twice.
O.K., the fat lady has begun the final chorus and I hear her singing, "The Party's Over."