Sunday, August 8, 2010
I'm Drawing A Blank Today
Please forgive me in advance if this post seems to have no point. Although I have several things written down in my "ideas" journal that I want to write about, none are seeming to inspire me today. But I wanted to write (I ALWAYS want to write!!) so just thought today would be a journey through Sharon's eyes and believe me, it has some gains and losses.
Mr. B's dad did not have a good night and consequently, neither did Mr. B. More tests are planned for tomorrow morning - hopefully, we will know more after that. I think both of us are anticipating them to find nothing medically wrong as we believe this is probably mental. But we could be wrong, of course. It just seems ironic that after MIL went home last evening and Mr. B became very stern with his dad, all of a sudden he could swallow again and was able to take his meds mixed in with some pudding. He ate some applesauce this morning and took his meds, but once MIL arrived, suddenly he could no longer swallow again. Go figure......
It is difficult to write anything about the trip we had planned this week because I don't want to come across as sounding self-centered or as if that is more important than my FIL's health. Obviously, we are going to lose at least a day of our trip and my guess is that it will be more. Fortunately, our destination is only 3 1/2 hours away, so maybe we'll get to go for part of the week. We sure were looking forward to it.
I'm still having a difficult time fighting off the munchies. It has been several weeks since I've experienced an intense desire to "munch." And notice, I said "munchies" as opposed to "cravings." I am not craving any particular thing and I attribute that to the fact that I'm pretty much off refined sugar and white flour. These are not carbohydrate or sugar induced. Last night, I finally ate some grapes (more than I should have) and some almonds (more than I should have), began reading blogs and eventually fell asleep. Today, the same desire to "munch" is back, and thanks to last week's breakthrough posts, I think I may have a handle on it. It's the control thing. Starting yesterday afternoon, when we got the call from MIL to head to the ER, I began feeling out of control. What's happening? What are they going to do? What could this be? Are we going to have to cancel our trip Will we lose our deposit? Etc! Etc! Etc! Once I was back home pondering all these things, suddenly all I wanted was something to "munch" on. Once I recognized that "out of control" feeling and knowing I couldn't change anything, rather than heading to the kitchen as I've always done in the past, I picked up my computer and started reading. Worked like a charm and it has worked again today. It's too early to get really excited, but I think maybe I'm really on to something valuable for my journey on through weight loss and into maintenance.
I mentioned that my birthday present was new computer equipment. I had done no upgrading since I left CorporateLand in 2002, so that tells you how antiquated everything was. I'm now high tech (what a joke)! A friend came over to help me with the networking and I am happy to say that everything is operating properly and all are talking to each other!! I have several "projects" I've been wanting to attempt, but didn't have the equipment for, so I'm really excited about getting to work on some of those things. I also have a lot more work I want to do on this blog and can't wait to get started on that. I'll try to warn you because once I get started messing with things, heaven only knows what may turn up...lol! I've already scanned my "fat" picture and will try to get it posted soon. I'll whet your appetite by telling you that it is disturbing on several levels!!!!
When I first mentioned our challenges with Mr. B's dad, a few of you (Margie and Tish I remember specifically) shared some of your personal experiences with caring for parents and in-laws. Those words were so encouraging to me. Please share more. Right now, I'd like that. Mr. B is an only child and I became the daughter they never had. Their love for me has always been completely unconditional. It is so hard when he looks at me and I can tell he isn't sure who I am. Mr. B seems to be handling that part better than I am. Have you all had to deal with this yet? For how long? Does it get any easier?
Well, I may have drawn a blank, but as usual, I certainly wasn't at a loss for words. Thanks for listening!