Friday, August 13, 2010
Along the Appalachian Trail on the TN/NC Border
I do not wait well. Especially when the waiting is this painful. Mr. B's dad is resting comfortably. His body is shutting down and breathing is beginning to slow. He has fought hard even with us repeatedly assuring him that it's o.k. to go. It should be soon.
Waiting is exhausting. I've often said that it's easier for me to hike ten miles than to wait in a line for 20 minutes. Since Mr. B is an only child, we are a small family unit and although, we have a host of friends and extended family who want to help, the three of us want to be present with our husband/dad when he leaves this world. So we take turns, we run home to bathe and catnap, only to return and wait some more.
This is life. This is not what I intended to blog about this week. I had lovely pictures and subjects all picked out to talk about, ask your advice about and have fun with. Things change. Those subjects will still be here in a week or so when I can devote more time to it and get back into the routine with which I've become so familiar.
I am so exhausted mentally and emotionally, but during the long days in the hospital room, I'm finding comfort in reading your posts. It reminds me of a sense of normalcy that I will find again in a few days. Precious life is still happening all around me even though I have to look on the whiteboard in FIL's room to remember what day it is. I've made a few trips down to the nursery to get a glimpse of new life as I watch the final hours of life flow out of someone I love deeply. I don't have the mental energy to write posts of my own, but thank you for yours.
Interestingly, after the episode with the Triscuits, I seem to have lost my appetite completely. This is NOT the way I want to lose weight. I think it will pass, but right now, I just don't want to eat. This may very well be a first!!
This is becoming a bit of a ramble and that is not my intent. It had been a couple of days since I posted, so just wanted to say thanks for your kind support and comments. Mr. B is totally amazed at the community I've found in such a short time. I will keep you posted - it just probably won't be every day for a little while.